Can't Lift My Head
by Bay Alexison
Summary: Rose wasn't able to find her voice, but that would soon change. First anime based.


Author's Note: And yet, another story I wrote for livejournal's FMA Fic Contest community. The prompt this time is Song Lyrics, in which one of the lines has to be from a song lyric (this is not a sonfic, I swear!). The line, "Oh, I can't even lift my head" from Sufjan Steven's _I Can't Lift My Head_.

**Can't Lift My Head**

The baby cried again.

Rose woke up, her eyes heavy from not getting much sleep the past couple of weeks. She picked the baby up and rocked him back and forth. At first he only continued to cry, but eventually he calmed down and quickly went to slumber. Rose held her hand to her forehead and sighed silently. She hadn't expected to have a child so early in life, but unforeseen circumstances had led her to having one. Despite the less-than-ideal situation, she loved her son deeply and cherished every moment with him.

Wanting some fresh air, Rose put her baby back in his crib and walked outside. Cold breeze blew through her dress and cloak, but the temperature didn't bother her—she was used to Liore's freezing nights. There was a full moon tonight and the woman couldn't stop gazing at it. She always loved the moon, how each night it would blossom and become more beautiful.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping, Holy Mother?"

The Holy Mother gasped in fright and turned around to see a black haired woman in a simple dress. Rose smiled.

_It's just Lyra. _

While Rose was pregnant, she met Lyra. The woman told her how she wanted to use her alchemy for saving people and heard Liore was in desperate need of help. That touched Rose very much and she had Lyra be her "voice" due to her inability to speak. After her son was born, Lyra pronounced Rose as the Holy Mother. Rose thought it was a bit extreme of Lyra for giving her that kind of title when she couldn't even speak, but she forgave her—she was doing that to get the people's hopes up; and it seemed to be working.

"Let me guess, your son woke you up again?"

Rose nodded slowly.

"Well, get some sleep now. You're going to need your energy to look over the people of Liore."

_Or the ones remaining_, Rose corrected in her mind. It wasn't out of spite, but more in sorrow. After the rebellion, many people of her race were wiped out clean. She accepted the title of Holy Mother and she would do everything she could to protect the remaining people of Liore.

Lyra bowed and went inside, leaving the Holy Mother alone. Rose hung her head; being mother of both her son and the people of Liore was tiring her out greatly.

**xxx**

The baby cried when the Holy Mother's savior appeared.

Time flew by and nothing serious happened, but there was still tension in the air. The Holy Mother's people still wouldn't let the past go away. Their Mother was their only hope now, yet _she _was losing hope. Rose's prayer was answered when a certain someone who had helped her get her back on her feet returned to Liore.

That night Edward had visited Liore once more and Rose had taken him to her home, along with Scar. Scar told them his plan to exterminate the army by using them as sacrifices, leading to an argument between the two. The woman was listening to the conversation while inside another room holding her baby, trying to calm him down. She stole a quick glance at the young man's horrified expression when Scar revealed what had caused her to become a mother so suddenly. Pain struck hard in her heart, as she had never seen him like that before.

At that moment, she wanted to tell Edward that everything was going to be okay. How could she though, when she-

_-oh, I can't even lift my head__._

"Rose?"

The woman gasped and saw Edward frowning at her, his eyes intense with sympathy.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you. But I'm glad you're alive."

The Holy Mother nodded vaguely while putting the baby back in his crib. Edward 's expression changed, the young man giving a sad smile. He gazed at the baby like a loving father.

"He looks a lot like you. I'm sure you're taking good care of him."

Rose smiled. She wasn't sure of herself as a mother, but it was nice to hear that from him. Not able to say her thanks, she instead hugged Edward. Rose wasn't able to see Edward's surprised look, but she knew he didn't expect an embrace from her like that. This was showing her gratitude towards him.

**xxx**

The baby cried at the wrong time.

The military was closing in. Lyra, Rose, and Edward led the evacuation while Scar went with his transmutation plans on the soldiers. Everyone went underground and things were going smoothly until two monsters came and attacked them. One looked like moving liquid that had swallowed some of the people, while the other appeared as a very young boy who went against Edward.

Rose was supposed to run away, but she didn't. She froze, watching the two clashing like knights in a battlefield. The monster eventually got Edward pinned down and was about to make his move-

Her son cried. For some reason, the monster kept telling the baby to be quiet.

"Rose, you idiot!" Edward roared, face showing great distress. "Run!"

Without hesitation, Rose dashed off as far as possible. She stopped though when she heard the young alchemist scream as if he was being stabbed in the heart. Her baby cried again. Without thinking, she suddenly said her first words after being silent for so long.

"Ed..ward."

Knowing what she had to do, she put a determined look on her face and turned back towards Edward.

She made it back, only to see the young man on the ground, the monster about to kill him with the spear Edward had transmuted from the cement wall. Horror stuck her heart.

_Ed!_

That was when the Holy Mother was able to set herself free. It was a struggle to lift her head and say a few encouraging words but she did it, and that was all that mattered.

"Ed… Get up, Ed. Get up, and move forward!"


End file.
